Tuesday, 21 April 2015

Saying a Final Goodbye to Dad

Today, well technically yesterday seeing as though it is past midnight, I said my final goodbye to my dad, it was hard, but at least I know that I have said what I needed to say & that my dad was coherent enough to understand what I was saying & was able to respond, he may not have been able to say much in response, it was his physical actions that made it clear that he understood what I was saying. He put his hand to his heart when I said I loved him & held my hand when I said I was proud of him & there was a tear in his eyes. I still managed to make him laugh too which was my mission to make him laugh at least once every time I had been round.

It may not be the last time I see him alive, but I knew I needed to say something whilst he was still coherent & that he knew how I felt about him. It know leaves me feeling safe in the knowledge that I can now talk about things that may seem inconsequential & still be funny & try & give him as normal a sense of life as possible, knowing that I have said what is important. I also cooked for him too, giving him a new taste sensation of Swedish meatballs with mash potato, I used to enjoy cooking with him as a kid & I'm glad that I got to cook for him one last time.

Today I also had the rather novel experience of eating my dinner whilst sitting on a commode, don't worry I wasn't having a shit at the same time.

1 comment:

  1. Can't begin to imagine how hard this moment was for you both. Hoping having this very special moment to say goodbye brings you peace in the future even if right now the situation is feeking so bleak right now. Hugs xxx