Agression

Recently I have been witness to or had to avoid aggression. But what does aggression actually achieve? Every time I come across it I end up thinking what a douche. In my eyes it doesn't suggest how powerful you are, just how much you haven't master your communication skills, leaving you feeling insecure. It also leaves other people feeling just as lousy as you, why can't people talk things over, OK there may end up a bit of bickering from time to time but keep your cool & you can sort your problems out quicker without that awkward time you have to spend in limbo to cool of & the fact you shouted once quite often leads to shouting again which is far from helpful. I have hardly ever argued with my current partner perhaps 3 or 4 times max, which is not bad considering we have been together for almost 8 years. I had a guy stare at me a couple of days ago, all I did was look in the direction he was in as he had kicked a drinks can, which snapped me out of a daydream & he thought its a prime time to start a staring competition, which by this point he'd crossed the road & he was direction I was walking in, he stared that usual fatal stare as he went past me but I didn't follow it, though I felt as though he was still staring at me & as I looked around to cross the road, out the corner of my eye I saw him still staring at me. I did want to go ask him if I'd done anything wrong for him to instigate it or clear up the misunderstanding but when someone is in that zone it is hard to break them out of it. Another couple yesterday starting shouting at each other for rather petty reasons, I looked over & the guy shouted back at his partner 'look even, that man's looking at you now, you are being so pathetic' I raised my eyebrows shook my head & carried on walking, i didn't want to get involved in that one either. I have found it best to stay out of other people's arguments as it only leads to trouble & one or both of the parties getting upset. It is hard to deal with it, there is usually a deep underlying cause for it. If you feel you are the brink of an argument, step back, look at yourself & what you are hoping to achieve, wonder will it better sorted by talking in a calm rational manner rather than flying off the handle saying something stupid or even getting physical in your aggression. You can deflate a balshy rarara type person by being calm & reasonable & then leave feeling smug knowing that they were the ones who looked unreasonable & not you.